Being The Best You

Todays post is going to be a short one.

Stop judging

Think about the last time you compared yourself to others.  It could be watching TV, out shopping, or just going out on the town.  You consistently judge  yourself on the outward appearance of others.  Not knowing what is going on in their life is a major downfall.  Even close friends can hide things.  So judging yourself is always the most harsh.

But what we don’t realize is that a lot of people either have the same exact problems we do, or sometimes, are in a worse position than we are.  But they look so normal!  Yes, they all do.  Why?  Because they are trying to keep up with you.  Yes, that’s right, they are looking at you doing the same thing.  You have it all figured out.  But you don’t.  But they don’t know it.

And so the cycle keeps going.

We all judge!  But we all judge ourselves the worst.  I’m just as guilty.  I’ll look at people and claim that they have it all figured out and are way better at certain things then me, and I will not even attempt to be as good as they are.  I’ve done it since I was a child.  I will continue to do it, but I know when I am doing, and that’s the difference.  I’m trying not to have that mindset.  It’s a challenge, but I’m doing it.

Live for you

Start living for yourself, and I promise things will change for the better.  It’s like a muscle, you must work out your muscles to become stronger, and you must workout your life for it to improve.

Do what you enjoy.  Find peace in yourself.  I know it’s tough and this random blog post won’t change your life, and the scope of this subject “change your life” has been around forever.  But start living for yourself.  Your fears, your insecurities, everything about your makes you different then anybody else.

Short.

I told you it was short.  Find what you love and live your life.  It’s really that simple.  Do what is easy and life will be hard, but do what is hard, and life will be easy.  I heard that from a motivational speaker named Les Brown.  Not sure where he heard it from, or he made up himself, but it’s very accurate.

Do great work!

New Journey

Starting fresh

So I read this one article or blog post, can’t remember which, but it said something about doing a post on a successful blog at least once every week, maybe even once a day, but then it turned around said if you can’t provide a quality post, you shouldn’t post anything.  But, you should aim to be consistent.  So I took aim, and I missed.  I’ve become inconsistent with my posting, and the quality of my posts isn’t always the greatest.  I’ve failed.

I have failed.

Listen to those words.  I’m trying to start a motivational blog with those words, so I must be crazy right?  Wrong.  Both me and you know that in order to succeed, failure is going to happen.  It’s so talked about in the motivational world, and with so many people buying self-help books and looking up self help blogs, that a vast majority of people know exactly what to do in order to the best human they can be.

But why are we buying so many self-help books?  Why are we consuming so data about helping ourselves?  Why are we feeling depressed and anxious all the time?  WHY??

Because of someone else.  That’s right, someone else is putting pressure on us, giving us deadlines, pushing us to go faster, get things done quicker but with better quality.  We are demanded to be perfect with 100% efficiency.  And that’s what is killing us.

Starting to question

I live in the United States of America, and things need to get done NOW.  Not just right now, but things should have gotten done in the past, and why the hell didn’t I know that?  Yes, that’s an impossible deadline.  Go into the past and do what should have already been done.

But why?  That’s a serious question.  Why do you want things done now?  Why is it so important to get things done now?  Instead of asking why aren’t things done, start asking better questions.  Start with, “why does this need to get done now?”.  Or “Do I have the tools to get this done now?”.  Or better yet “what is the importance this has on my life and the people around me?”.

You see, when you start asking questions, people get pissed.  People that are in charge of you start getting pissed because they aren’t asking those questions.  They are looking at the immediate task at hand.  They are in the now, which is a great place to be!  Unless that place sucks.  Then being in the “now” is the worst place to be.

Moving on

Moving from a crappy place, to a great place takes a tremendous effort.  It takes an almost delusional mind to quit being a poor spirited man to being full of energy and life.  But when you ask the right questions, you’ll notice if you love your life, or you are just living it.  I’m not giving you some cliché examples of our society and how much it sucks and you must over come it to feel enlightened, powerful, and grateful.  If you want to buy self-help books that promise you these things, go buy them.

Listen, I get it.  You’re still searching for the right advice, the perfect blog post, the correct book that “gets you”.  That’s why you’re reading this.  You aren’t satisfied, and I’m extremely happy you aren’t.  That means you have more that you want to accomplish.  So let us start moving on.

Becoming something we aren’t

I can pack everything I have learned about motivation into this post, but what’s the fun in that?  Motivation is something you can just have to accomplish a goal.  It’s a lifestyle, and it’s a journey.  The journey is yours, and if you aren’t finding any reason to keep going, then you need to find a new journey.

We all have more to give, more we want, and more we think we deserve.  Get what you want.  Ask the universe for it.  Whoops, I added a cliché saying.  But I’ll let that one slide.  You really should be asking the universe for what you deserve.  It’ll make a difference.

So what now?

I’m bringing this rambling post back to reality.  Lets talk for real.  We all have skills that we think are important.  We all have dreams.  And we all have life.  Once you align your skills with your dreams, your life becomes abundant.  I’m really sick of motivational books and videos promising failure is the key to success.  We all know that already.  What do we not know about motivation?  We don’t know how to define it.

I’ve been pissed off at work before.  Things just were not going right.  I wasn’t doing good work, and nobody else was either.  But how did I find motivation?  Why did I continue to work hard in the face of adversity?  Anger.  I was pissed!  It wasn’t a calm motivational state of mind.  It was me, getting extremely pissed.  Did I make mistakes while pissed?  Yes.  Do I make mistakes while not pissed?  Yes.  What’s the difference?  In my pissed off state of mind, I don’t care.  I don’t care who I have to talk to in order to get a job done.  When I’m relaxed, I care too much.  I don’t want to be seen as a failure.  But when I’m mad, all that goes out the window.

So the point is to get mad?  Yes.  Get mad when you don’t live up to your potential.  I don’t know how to solve all your problems, or the motivational issues this world faces.  But I do know we have to get mad.

Conclusion

So to wrap this up, I would like to say, keep going.  If you are facing giants, face them with ferocity.  Don’t give up, and get what you deserve.  Ask the hard questions, look in your own mind before pointing fingers, and explore your inner space.

-Aaron

P.S. Let me know what you think in the comments.  I’m always looking for feedback!

So far, so good

Alright boys and girls, here is another post!

So far I’ve been doing what everyone says to do…make mistakes.  I’m not going to say that creating this website, or getting into blogging has been a mistake.  But I will say that I’m pretty sure I’m over thinking just about everything when it comes to blogs.  I can’t seem to wrap my head around how easy it is to set this stuff up!  I grew up with computers, and I loved them.  I used to play on them for hours and hours, first it was video games, and then I enjoyed creating websites.  I took a long pause when I switched jobs, so I’m not in the website creating scene anymore.  So as you might assume, I remember the days when website building was a chore!

Fast forward to now and wow, this is extremely easy!  It’s so easy, that I catch myself asking the website why it’s doing something.  I love understand exactly how something works.  I can’t just hit a button and be satisfied with the result I get.  I want to know where that information is sent, how it is processed, and how it knows where to send it (example: email lists).  What does SSL do?  How does it know how to do it’s job?

But that’s the point of what I’m talking about today.

Understanding understanding

That’s not a typo.  I want to talk about a very unique human condition.  Us as humans, we know that we know.  That means that I know that my brain is thinking.  I might not know how, or why it thinks of particular things, but I understand that I have thoughts.  This isn’t a new concept for me.  I’ve been fascinated by the mind for a long time, and understanding it gives me pleasure, and a lot of headaches (you see what I did there??)  I want to know how we think.  I want to know why we think.  And I want to know if we can improve our way of thinking, or is it programmed from birth, or from our formative years as children.

This post can get very philosophical, and I’ll try my best to avoid complete abstract ideas.  But that’s a foundation of my thought process, and it’s fun!  So lets discuss understanding.

The definition of understand is “perceive the intended meaning of (words, a language, or speaker)”.  So if we attempt to understand that we understand something, what does that mean?  It means we are getting to know what it feels like to think.  I understand the english language.  I understand that I understand the english language.  I can wrap my head around the fact that I speak fluent english.  So that’s it.  I know that I know.

And that’s important for us as a species.  We not only know that we think, but we devote entire fields of study on the process of thinking.  Being able to know why you are thinking a certain way gives you power to change it.  If you know that the reason you think of a mountain range when somebody mentions the word “school bus”, you have the ability to understand that you always looked at a set of mountain ranges as a kid waiting for a school bus (this is actually true in my case).   My point is, it is much more fearful to not know why you act a certain way, then it is to know.  Even if your actions hurt someone, as long as you know why you committed those acts, it’s much easier to be at ease with yourself.  The scary part is when you act out in a way that you think is against your personality.  How many times have you yelled at someone in a stressful situation and you recoil at the words you used?  You apologize and say “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from!”.  You are in just as much horror as the person on the receiving end.

It is an important part of your human existence to know why you do something.  That opens the door to a real deep connection to yourself.  That connection with you helps you to fall in love with yourself.  And loving yourself is the most important thing you can do.  You can’t be there for someone else until you learn everything about you.  Sometimes it’s scary to dive into your own psyche, and sometimes we don’t know the demons we hide from ourselves.  But that’s the next part.

Loving imperfections

The first step to loving yourself is to simply admit that you’re not perfect.  Don’t admit it to anyone else, just yourself.  This isn’t about a twelve step program, it’s a simple exercise.  You are imperfect.  You make mistakes, you laugh at jokes you don’t get, you can’t paint, your eyebrows are lopsided.  We all have something we don’t like about ourselves.  We judge our worst against someones best.  When you look on social media, you see someone at their best.  If it’s a picture of a less then flattering hair day, you praise them and say “wow this person has so much bravery putting that picture up!  Bravo!!”.  But you look in the mirror with better hair than them and say “nope, looks like shit”.  Why?  Because we judge our worse to other people’s best.

Moving forward

I want you to know yourself better everyday.  Take time for yourself.  Make the effort to understand your thought process.  Don’t give in the society telling you how to think and how to feel.  Love yourself, and you can move forward with whatever thought processes you have.

-Aaron

PS.  I really did not expect this post to go the way it did.  But I’m proud of it.

Change

Today’s post is going to be short and sweet.

First, what a world we live in. Things are constantly changing and evolving and it’s crazy!! I’m trying to find my place in all of this, and it’s challenging. But I think what matters is I’m adapting to change. And that’s the point of this post.

Many times in my life, I can remember when I resisted change, and it hurt. I didn’t want to change! But after the years of resisting, I’ve learned that change is inevitable, and my life will be better if I can adapt, rather then resist.

Change is actually helpful. We love resisting what we don’t understand, but have you tried accepting the changes being made around you? Sometimes we make those changes, and other times it is someone else. We are too quick to resist. So instead, stop and make a pro and con list really quick. What is good and bad about this change? Then start moving forward with the change and succeed.

So with this being a short and sweet post, I don’t have a lot of time to get into specifics. Try to accept a change you’re trying to make or someone is making for you. Try acceptance, rather then resistance. You do that, and tell me how it feels.

Positivity

Hey everyone and welcome to a new post!  I hope everyone is having a good week.

I’d like to talk today about the power of positivity.  You see, a lot of good can happen when you start the day with a positive mindset.  It opens the door for endless possibilities.  Lets take an example, try to follow along.

Lets say I wake up and immediately think that today is going to be a crappy day.  I’ve been broke for a while and I don’t think I’ll make enough money again.  So my mind is primed from the first second of conscious thought to look at the world in a negative way.  I start my day by making coffee, but I realize I don’t have any creamers.  So I blame not having any money, then I blame not being very smart, then turn it into I am a terrible person with no financial responsibility, and dive deeper into how I should have paid attention to this stuff in school.

It’s extremely tiresome to think this way, but a lot of people do.  Maybe they don’t think in that way, but a lot of us (me included) are guilty of waking up and thinking at least one negative thought right away.  Why?  The day hasn’t even started yet.

It’s all in your conscious thoughts.  I’ve had people argue with me that it’s easier to be negative because the world is full of tough things to handle.  So?  What made tough situations negative?  You as an individual make tough challenges into something more than they really are.  I’ve had people say that’s just who they are.  Let me ask you some questions.

Do you want to be negative?

Do you want negativity to run  your personal and your professional life?

Does negativity attract positivity?

But these questions are easy to answer, they require very little thought.  The answer for almost everyone is, no!  We don’t want to be negative creatures.  We want to be positive and live in a wonderful candy land world where nobody is hungry and everyone gets along.  But we don’t live in that world.

We live in a world of fear.

Try to turn on the news.  Are any stories about how 50 abused dogs found a good foster home?  Or is the story about how 50 abused dogs where on the brink of death, found in the basement of a dog fighting ring, and that neighbor….could be yours.  See how that is twisted for you to be fearful?

Now lets dive into another step.  When we start thinking that we are being negative and finally admit it, we have two options.  We can either get depress and/or angry with ourselves, or we can see the problem and attempt to fix it.  The first option is scary because it drives more negativity into your life, which isn’t what we are looking for.  Negativity breads more negativity.

You might ask “so how can I not be negative?”.  It’s simple, but not easy.

Consciously take charge of your thoughts.  Know that your thoughts don’t determine who you are.  Who you are, determines your thoughts.  If you label yourself as a negative person, guess what?  That’s who you are.  If you label yourself as weak, small, pathetic, worthless….that’s who you are.  But if you label yourself as a work in progress, Rome wasn’t built in a day, nobody is perfect, or any other cliché sayings, that is who you are.

So I want to challenge you.  Find at least 3 minutes in the morning (or whenever you wake up) and say good things about yourself.  That’s it.  At first it’s going to feel awful.  You’re going to feel extremely weird.  You’re not going to believe what you are saying.  You’re thoughts will turn against you.  At first, it’ll be the worst.  But over time, with enough practice, you can master your thoughts.

Does it take 3 minutes a day for the rest of your life to actually change your life?  Probably not.  But it’s a step.  And you have to start the journey towards positivity and success with something.  So why not start that journey correctly, with a small, loving step towards the life you truly want to live.  A life full of love, not fear.

God Bless

Aaron

Generating ideas

Welcome!

Today I’d like to talk about generating ideas.  I know, it sounds like a very vague and general term…which it is!  I love thinking about thinking.  What makes us think?  What makes one person think differently compared to another person?  How do some people seem to generate better ideas in a certain subject then myself?

All these questions to how people think, and I find it very difficult to come up with answer to any one of these!  What is challenging, is that all people are different, and come from very different backgrounds.  I was raised in Snohomish, Washington.  How that affects my thinking habits compared to someone raised in say, Goldsboro, North Carolina, is well beyond my expertise.  But that’s what I want to explore.

The first question I want to ask is; how does an idea move from thought to action.  I must give a fair warning, I might go off on a tangent with this post.

Moving from thought to action

So for the first exercise in generating ideas, I want to explore what it takes to go from the idea to taking action.  I think a lot of what determines thought-to-action is determined by experience.  For example: I have a lot of experience playing the video game Diablo 3.  Now, if I create a new character, I first think about about the reasons to create a new one, then I take action.  It’s pretty simple.  For me, that is very easy to do in that video game.  I have played through that game many times and I know a lot about it.  But think about this; what if I didn’t know anything about it?  What would be my hesitation about taking action on the question of playing this video game?  Again, that’s an easy question for me to answer, because I have my experiences with video games that goes back nearly 20 years.  I don’t want to waste my time, I don’t want to make the wrong character choice for the time I have to play it, I want a fun experience, I don’t want people to think I’m just a gamer, etc etc.

I decide that I want to take action, and I create my character and I start playing.  After a while, I am so intrigued about playing and learning to play better and better, that a lot of the questions I had about it before start to disappear and are replaced by thoughts of “how to I become better?”.

You see what’s going on?

From action to mastery

This is what I am talking about.  It is very easy for me to start something, and so hard to master it.  And that’s where a lot of people fall into.

So the questions change.  Now we ask ourselves; how can I get better, what can I do to be more efficient, how does this spell work with a crit damage buff, what spells should I use with this type of gear, etc etc.  Notice the difference from idea to action, and action to mastery.  When you are moving from idea to action, there are concerns and questions about the act of getting started, but you don’t know anything about the action.  Then when it comes to action to mastery, you are committed to the action, so your focus is on becoming better at that action.

The keywords, committed and focus.  When you are committed and focused on anything, whether its video games, marketing, sales, advertisement, writing a book, your children, your relationship with your wife/husband, or your dead-end job, that’s what you become the best at.

Generating ideas

Ok, so now that we have those two sections done, what about the original thought of generating ideas?  We generate ideas based on who we are, what we are interested in, and what we hope to become one day.  So they come from past, present, and future.  Pretty simple concept if you think about it.  So what makes people better at generating ideas?  Focus and commitment.  That’s it.  The internet is full of websites that can help you direct your thoughts, and we spend a lot of that time on facebook or some other social media for the wrong reasons.  Social media is great if it’s being used for good, but if you are constantly checking out how other people are living their lives and you aren’t living yours, then you should put it down.  Social media is great for generating ideas!  The key is to know when enough is enough.

When I say generate ideas, I am talking about anything.  How to make money, how to garden, how to build a desk, how to decorate a room, how to change your oil, etc…ideas are endless!  So lets come up with ideas in a market and then lets roll with them.  Lets move from that idea, then take action, then become a master of it.

Talk with you all later!

  • Aaron

Motivational Ideas

Hey everyone.

Today is kind of a big deal for me.  I’m going to be telling you about some ideas I have for motivation.  I know what you are saying…”oh great, another person who thinks they are Tony Robbins”.  *rolls eyes*

Yep, I’ve had doubts about what I could offer people in terms of motivation, and I will be completely honest with you, nothing I am going to share is a mystery to anybody.  All the information I’ve learned about motivation and getting started with change, has been done before.  All this information is out there on the internet…if you have the time and energy to search for it.

That’s where I come in.

Lets talk about motivation for a minute and really see where it takes us.

Step 1: Understanding yourself

First, you’ve got to dive into knowing who you are.  If you want to find the motivation to make a change, you have to know “why” you are making that change.  The motivation will follow your why.  Your why will answer a number of things to include:

  • Do I have enough energy?
  • Do I have enough time?
  • Will I be accepted?
  • Will I look dumb?
  • Am I good at this?

All those questions will disappear after you figure the reasons, or the “why”, in your life.  So be real with yourself to determine your starting point.  Don’t hold anything back, be ruthless about where you are currently.  Understand yourself, and you will begin to love yourself.  Start now.

Step 2: Make the “why” bigger then your problems.

Why do you want to exercise?  Why do you want to make money?  Why do you want to eat healthy?  Why do you want to read more?  Why?

The answer to these questions needs to be compelling.  If you aren’t excited about answering these question or any others you have for yourself, you won’t find any motivation.  It won’t happen.  You must love to answer the hard questions.  The way you answer those needs to be a reason.  Don’t just answer them blindly.  Give them real thought and passion.

Step 3: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

How many times have you thought about a journey, only to be wrapped up in all the complicated details about every step.  If I start a business, who will be my market?  How can I market myself?  What skills do I have to offer?  What if people say no?

All these are legit worries, but are you taking steps to combat them?  Is motivation quickly dwindling with all the questions?  Stop.  Focus on a single step.  Start working on something, anything!  If you can get yourself motivated to do one thing, then after a while, you just accomplished a number of things!

So take that first step and see how it feels.

 

Conclusion

So this first article was pretty quick and to the point, but I hope you found it interesting.  Like that third step, I’m starting to do something and taking action.  It’s not massive action, nor do I expect it to be life altering.  I’m taking a little step.  A baby step.

  • Aaron Troeger