Alright boys and girls, here is another post!
So far I’ve been doing what everyone says to do…make mistakes. I’m not going to say that creating this website, or getting into blogging has been a mistake. But I will say that I’m pretty sure I’m over thinking just about everything when it comes to blogs. I can’t seem to wrap my head around how easy it is to set this stuff up! I grew up with computers, and I loved them. I used to play on them for hours and hours, first it was video games, and then I enjoyed creating websites. I took a long pause when I switched jobs, so I’m not in the website creating scene anymore. So as you might assume, I remember the days when website building was a chore!
Fast forward to now and wow, this is extremely easy! It’s so easy, that I catch myself asking the website why it’s doing something. I love understand exactly how something works. I can’t just hit a button and be satisfied with the result I get. I want to know where that information is sent, how it is processed, and how it knows where to send it (example: email lists). What does SSL do? How does it know how to do it’s job?
But that’s the point of what I’m talking about today.
That’s not a typo. I want to talk about a very unique human condition. Us as humans, we know that we know. That means that I know that my brain is thinking. I might not know how, or why it thinks of particular things, but I understand that I have thoughts. This isn’t a new concept for me. I’ve been fascinated by the mind for a long time, and understanding it gives me pleasure, and a lot of headaches (you see what I did there??) I want to know how we think. I want to know why we think. And I want to know if we can improve our way of thinking, or is it programmed from birth, or from our formative years as children.
This post can get very philosophical, and I’ll try my best to avoid complete abstract ideas. But that’s a foundation of my thought process, and it’s fun! So lets discuss understanding.
The definition of understand is “perceive the intended meaning of (words, a language, or speaker)”. So if we attempt to understand that we understand something, what does that mean? It means we are getting to know what it feels like to think. I understand the english language. I understand that I understand the english language. I can wrap my head around the fact that I speak fluent english. So that’s it. I know that I know.
And that’s important for us as a species. We not only know that we think, but we devote entire fields of study on the process of thinking. Being able to know why you are thinking a certain way gives you power to change it. If you know that the reason you think of a mountain range when somebody mentions the word “school bus”, you have the ability to understand that you always looked at a set of mountain ranges as a kid waiting for a school bus (this is actually true in my case). My point is, it is much more fearful to not know why you act a certain way, then it is to know. Even if your actions hurt someone, as long as you know why you committed those acts, it’s much easier to be at ease with yourself. The scary part is when you act out in a way that you think is against your personality. How many times have you yelled at someone in a stressful situation and you recoil at the words you used? You apologize and say “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from!”. You are in just as much horror as the person on the receiving end.
It is an important part of your human existence to know why you do something. That opens the door to a real deep connection to yourself. That connection with you helps you to fall in love with yourself. And loving yourself is the most important thing you can do. You can’t be there for someone else until you learn everything about you. Sometimes it’s scary to dive into your own psyche, and sometimes we don’t know the demons we hide from ourselves. But that’s the next part.
The first step to loving yourself is to simply admit that you’re not perfect. Don’t admit it to anyone else, just yourself. This isn’t about a twelve step program, it’s a simple exercise. You are imperfect. You make mistakes, you laugh at jokes you don’t get, you can’t paint, your eyebrows are lopsided. We all have something we don’t like about ourselves. We judge our worst against someones best. When you look on social media, you see someone at their best. If it’s a picture of a less then flattering hair day, you praise them and say “wow this person has so much bravery putting that picture up! Bravo!!”. But you look in the mirror with better hair than them and say “nope, looks like shit”. Why? Because we judge our worse to other people’s best.
I want you to know yourself better everyday. Take time for yourself. Make the effort to understand your thought process. Don’t give in the society telling you how to think and how to feel. Love yourself, and you can move forward with whatever thought processes you have.
PS. I really did not expect this post to go the way it did. But I’m proud of it.